Delegation gone wild: My boss wants me to write my own recommendation letter

Q: I work in a field where it's no problem to ask my boss for a recommendation letter. She asked me to write one myself, which she will sign. Can you suggest a book of reference letter templates? What works and what will not?

NICK'S REPLY: I'll be blunt. Your boss is being irresponsible and lazy. If she won't take the time to write an honest letter of recommendation for you, she's insulting you. You should not be writing your own recommendation for someone else to sign. I would go back and ask her to write it herself because it's not ethical for you to do it and because only your boss can stick her own neck out. That's what a real recommendation, or reference, does: It puts the writer's good word on the line.

No matter who writes the letter, reconsider using a template. You can find samples at your local library, but I caution you. While it doesn't hurt to learn about popular formats, don't fall into the trap of cribbing. A good recommendation letter is personal, unique and reflects the writer as much as the subject. That's what makes it powerful. Recommendations written from templates are like resumes written from templates. They're transparent and they are a sign of incompetence -- which makes the whole thing suspect to the reader.

A recommendation should be very simple. It describes a person's character and abilities, and it should estimate the person's prospects for success at a specific job. The writer gives an unambiguous personal opinion, telling the employer that the person is worth being hired.

You can help your boss write this letter over a cup of coffee. Describe the job you're pursuing and why you think you'll be successful. Ask her to think out loud, reviewing your work, accomplishments and skills. What does she think about your character, style and aspirations? Then slide a pencil and paper across the table and ask her to please put it in her own words, because that's the real value in a recommendation letter -- not just the facts.

THE HEADHUNTER TIP:

Who thanks whom?

Job candidates routinely send thank-you notes to managers who interview them. Maybe it should be the other way around.

Granted, the job candidate wants a job. But it's the employer who needs help. The manager is being paid to do interviews. The candidate isn't.

A thank-you note is due from both parties. But a manager very rarely sends a candidate a personal thank you for taking time to discuss the manager's problems and job requirements.

A cynic might see a subtle conspiracy of employers to keep job hunters in their place. Is it cynical to suggest that managers who want to attract the best job candidates would serve their purpose best by being good hosts and treating their invited guests with the utmost respect?

In a job interview, the manager is taking up a candidate's valuable professional time without any compensation. So who should thank whom?

Copyright 2009. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate

Nick Corcodilos is author of "Ask The Headhunter: Reinventing the Interview to Win the Job" and the host of www.asktheheadhunter.com. He can be reached by e-mail at seattle@asktheheadhunter.com or at North Bridge Group, P.O. Box 600, Lebanon, NJ 08833. Sorry, no personal replies.